You know what people really love? Secrets. Mystery. Things they can't have but really, really want. Those are all going to come into play as we describe everything we know about a "secret" pizza delivery service that exists in Portland. And beware, because the more we tell you, the more you're likely to fall in love with Them Pizza Boyz.

Found on Instagram, you can scroll through their delicious feed filled with unique and creative pizzas, pictures of their orange cat (named Garfield?) and another amazingly cunning thing about this underground operation, their custom pizza boxes.

So where's the store front? How about a phone number to place an order? Maybe they have a website where you can order online? How about 2DineIn or Uber Eats? The answer is going to be no. You see, the first rule of Fight Club was to never, ever talk about Fight Club. It appears the first rule of Them Pizza Boyz may be to never, ever discuss how you order from Them Pizza Boyz, they'll find you.

Oh, and they'll only find you on Wednesdays, apparently. That's what their Instagram page says. It probably means Them Pizza Boyz have other occupations pulling them away from cooking up wild pies, but we prefer to imagine that this is all part of some sort of high-level marketing plan to make the people want more of what they can't have. And guess what? It's working.

So for those in the Them Pizza Boyz inner circle, congrats. Mystery pizza has never tasted so good.

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