For years now, I've been the person that does the grocery shopping for my girlfriend Michele and me. She works from home and I drive by two grocery stores on my way home from work.

I go almost every day, usually just to pick up a few items that we might need and I always text her to ask if she needs me to grab something. Sometimes it's as simple as some chicken from the wing bar at Hannaford while other times it's a long list that is out of order based on where the aisles are, so I usually have to backtrack when I see cucumbers at the end of the list. I managed to drop those in the driveway when I got home one day along with half of the other contents that were in the bag with them.

Jeff Parsons - Townsquare Media
Jeff Parsons - Townsquare Media

But none of those things are the reason that I should not be allowed to do the grocery shopping anymore. It has to do with a delicious deli meat called Cracked Pepper Turkey Breast. It's great for sandwiches, which I eat nearly every day for lunch.

This is:

Jeff Parsons - Townsquare Media
Jeff Parsons - Townsquare Media

What do a package of deli meat and a super long USB cord have in common? Nothing, other than the fact they are both on the passenger footwell.

I ran out late one night last week to Hannaford Supermarket on Riverside Street in Portland to get Windham trash bags since we were all out and had just cleaned up the basement. While there I bought some more cracked pepper turkey breast.

On the way back, someone I was following hit the brakes hard so I had to do the same. I didn't think anything of it and when I got home I grabbed the trash bags and went inside.

18 hours later, driving home I glanced down at the floor and saw the deli meat still there. Apparently, it slid right onto the floor without me noticing. I didn't have a bag because I only had the trash bags and the turkey. $7.50 wasted.

So I think I should retire from grocery shopping after this horrible incident, don't you agree Michele?

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