Tired of your pens disappearing? Never lose another pen again. These tips will keep your pens from being absconded from the front desk. It may all be in innocence or it may be a co-worker secretly lusting after your smooth rolling pleasant to the hand favorite pen, but we've all had our writing utensils disappear from time to time. So, I found a few tips to keep your favorite pens in their proper place.

  1. Wrap up your pen with a plastic spoon using a bumper sticker from your favorite radio station. Don't use a knife or fork...you might poke someone's eye out.
  2. Tape a peacock feather to your pen.  It will add a touch of elegance.
  3. Get red pens that use refills.  Take out red ink and put in blue or black refill cartridges.  Everyone hates red pens and will rebuff them like a soiled diaper.
  4. Get pens with fake company names on them like, "Stuffed with Love Taxidermy" or "Springfield Sexual Addiction Center...from Perv to Perfect in 10 Days." Yes, they actually make them.
  5. Paint your name in glittery nail polish on the pen.

Good Luck! May your pen remain in it's forever always home until the ink runs dry.