Watch How My Then 3-Year Old Son Tried to Justify Hitting His Mother

I'm a very proud dad now that my son has graduated from high school and has begun his freshman year studying marine biology at the University of New England. In pretty much his entire childhood, I only had to punish him once with a timeout. It turned into one of the funniest moments I had with my son Jake when he was just 3 years old.

Proud Dad and Grandfather

This photo was from Jake's high school graduation from Lisbon High School. That's, of course, Jake with the cap and gown, and my father, Jake's grandfather, who came to the graduation ceremony. It was the first time the three of us were together in more years than I can count, after my dad moved to Florida.

He's back in Maine now, and I couldn't have been happier to see the three of us together. Jake never knew my mom, who passed away in 2005, but she would have been just as proud of this kid.

The Funniest Video I've Ever Taken of Jake

You know the old saying, "kids say the darndest things?" This video proves it after Jake, who was 3 years old, was put into a timeout and stayed there until I had a talk with him about hitting his mother. Watch the brain of a 3-year-old child work to try to weasel their way out of punishment. It's epic.

You can't make this stuff up. It's the only time I ever had to put him into a timeout that I can recall, and he worked it like a pro.

Now that he's in college, I don't see him as often as I used to. He didn't win the lottery for a parking spot, so I come to him now on Thursday nights so we can play competitive pinball at the Silverball Tavern in Saco as part of the New England Pinball League.

Jake, if you're reading this and you're embarrassed, suck it up. Now you're an adult, so you have your TV anytime you want. And stop kicking my butt at pinball.