To My New Hampshire Garbage Men and/or Women – I’m SO Sorry

Dear Garbage Men and/or Women,

Let me start off by saying you probably don't get nearly enough credit in the world. Considering most of us, unless urged by a roommate/significant other/fiance(e)/spouse, are so lazy that there would probably be a stack of dishes in the sink a mile high or a mountain of clothes taking up one full floor, that without you, our homes would probably be overtaken with garbage. You've literally made getting rid of garbage your life and we should both appreciate and honor you way more than we do.

And you definitely deserve way more than what I left for you when I put the trash out before coming into work today.

I swear to you, when I gathered my final garbage and recyclables last night in preparation of putting it out this morning for your tireless service, I had every intention of not leaving you any surprises as soon as you opened the trash can to dump it into the truck.

Because I pride myself on making sure that, regardless of it being straight up trash, it's as sanitary and not disgusting as possible. Normally, I'm always really good about making sure there's nothing loose on the top of the bags inside of the big plastic can I leave right by my steps. I must have had a massive brainfart, though (no pun intended for what I'm about to say next), and just left what I feel has to be taken as some sort of insult to you.

I left the little bags of my dog's droppings loose on top of everything. Not respectfully stuffed inside of the larger bags that it laid on top of -- just thrown on the top of everything, as if to say, "Eh, they're just garbage people, it doesn't matter."

But I swear that's not what I meant to do. I had every intention of dumping the little dropping bags into the final bag I tied off and tossed in the plastic can, but at the same time I was also getting ready to take my pup, Remy, out for a quick walk. And out of habit, I just tied the bag off, stuffed it into the can, and called it a day.

It wasn't until this morning when I was bringing everything out before leaving that I realized I never put the contents of the dedicated little plastic trash can that holds his used bags of droppings into the actual trash can. Which you could probably tell when you opened the big can to dump into the back of your truck and probably got punched in the face (Will Smith style) with the scent of, well...poo.

I just wanted to apologize. It may not be needed. Maybe you run into it when you dump my neighbor's trash into your truck, too -- who knows. But I just wanted you to know that it wasn't a disrespectful move or a lack of compassion or empathy for what you do, much in the way some people would leave a hotel room a mess and say, "Well, they pay people to clean it."

No, I respect you all and what you do on a daily basis. I'll be better and treat you less like garbage next time, accidental or not. It's what you deserve.