New England Breweries – Please Don’t Follow This Texas Brewery’s Lead

Hot Dogs have iconic names in New England

We have our own local slang for them here in New England. In Maine, especially inside of Hadlock Field, they’re known as “red snappahs.” Down at Fenway Park in Boston, you order a “Fenway Frank.” Inside of Northeast Delta Dental Stadium – actually, outside of calling it a “Fishercat Frank” or a “Fisher Frank,” they may just call it a plain old hot dog. But that’s where it ends for us.

In Texas, a hot dog is known as a “Glizzy,” and unfortunately it doesn’t end there. And it’s not even the fact that they put on an entire festival dedicated to hot dogs in July called “Glizzy Fest” – that’s actually a killer idea. And it’s not like we don’t do the same thing around New England with various Chowder Fests, Seafood Fests, Chili Fests, Clam Fests, and probably way more we don’t even know about.

But Texas may have just gone too far with their new hot dog idea, and it’s an idea that we’re on our knees begging breweries throughout New England not to borrow.

Hot Dog Flavored Seltzer debuting at Glizzy Fest

According to WFAA, Martin House Brewing Company will introduce Texans to “The Awesome Sauce: Bun Length Hot Dog Water Seltzer” on July 16 at their annual Glizzy Fest. The drink will apparently be 5.2% ABV and include actual, legitimate hot dog water. Like, leftover water after boiling/steaming hot dogs. Yes, that disgusting, kind of cloudy-looking water you see when you’re seated at a Red Sox game and a vendor scoops out a fresh Fenway Frank for you.

New England loves hard seltzers

We didn’t do a deep dive study, but odds are no matter what cookout, BBQ, social event that is 21+, or even gathering on a boat (if you’re lucky enough to know someone with a boat), you’ll find at least one person in attendance clutching onto some kind of hard seltzer. They’re light. They’re crisp. They’re especially refreshing on hot summer days.

But hot dog flavor? Please, New England breweries – no. Even the mere thought is puke-in-your-mouth worthy. Let’s stick to the more delicious side of things, like creating sour ales out of Starburst or Swedish Fish like Pipe Dream Brewing in New Hampshire has been known to do (while coming up with amazing names for said sour ales, as well.)

That said, if you’re looking for ballpark-inspired ideas for the next hard seltzer? I’m sure New Englanders would go crazy over a Sea Dogs Biscuit Seltzer… (consider that idea copyrighted, by the way, and it’ll cost you some consultation cash to brew. But really, please, someone make that happen.)