Woman Considers Ending One-Sided Friendship After Not Being Asked to Be a Bridesmaid
A woman is hurt and considering ending a friendship after her best friend didn't ask her to be a bridesmaid for her upcoming wedding.
"I had a lovely wedding a couple of years ago. My best friend of many years was my chief bridesmaid, she was my witness and made a speech too. I paid for her bridesmaid's dress, jewelry, for her hair and makeup," the woman wrote via Mumsnet, explaining that "over the years she's been a great friend" to the other woman.
Naturally, when her friend got engaged last year, she "assumed" she would ask her to be her Maid of Honor. Unfortunately, that never happened.
"Time went by and eventually I got an invitation to her bachelorette party from another friend of hers, which confirmed my fears that I wasn’t going to be asked to be a bridesmaid," she wrote.
"I was incredibly hurt that my friend hadn’t spoken to me to let me down gently, but I didn’t want to confront her because I knew that she had other difficult things going on in her life and because I couldn’t see what good could come of making a fuss," the woman continued.
At the bachelorette party, the woman felt humiliated that "everyone knew that she had been my chief bridesmaid but I hadn’t been given any role in hers."
"It was upsetting to see her talking excitedly about plans for the wedding weekend with the bridesmaids. It was jarring to see how amazing and well-planned her bachelorette party was ... it brought it home how little effort she had put into mine," she recalled.
To make matters worse, even though the woman's friend had recently told her she didn't have time to go on a vacation with her, she overheard her talking to other friends about setting up a girls' trip.
Now, the woman believes her friendship may have reached its expiration date.
"The friendship wasn’t what I thought it was, and I feel like a fool. It’s made me feel worthless ... that someone that I valued so highly would so completely not feel the same way. I don’t think that anything that she could say would save the friendship now, so I’m intending to reduce contact with her, attend her wedding and then quietly stop seeing her," she concluded.
In the comments section, Mumsnet users had mixed reactions to the woman's friendship woes.
"Do you think you put her and the friendship on a bit of a pedestal? In that she just didn’t see you in the same way? Using words like ‘proud’ of your friendship is a bit odd, I’m not proud of my friendships ... they kind of are what they are. They ebb and flow," one person commented.
"Oh get over it, being so entitled. This is her wedding, not yours, stop making it all about you," another wrote.
"I think it’s clear that she doesn’t see the friendship in the same way as you do ... She doesn’t sound very caring in the way she has gone about it either, she could have had an honest conversation with you about it. I think after the wedding I would put your energy into other relationships," someone else advised.